A Post from the Heart...

I heard someone say one time that a scrapbook was your life story with all the bad left out. Being a scrapbooker, I have found that to be true many times- we capture the good times and happy moments and remember those. And while I think that is good, because I believe that a scrapbook should be used to leave a legacy and be an encouragement- a book of love, I also think I am guilty of not capturing all of God's miracles in the magnitude that I should- and that is truly the legacy I want to leave. That is the story I want to tell. So, as this blog has become a journal and online "scrapbook" of the life of my family, I need to share some thoughts in hopes that either myself or someone I don't even know will come up on this one day and see a miracle of God- His mighty hand and loving heart at work.
Today is the 21 month anniversary of Karlee's gotcha day. I stand amazed at how much she has changed and grown in this amount of time. She is so vivacious for life, has a laugh that infiltrates an entire room and a smile that makes any dark cloud disappear. She talks constantly- and I mean constantly (ha!) and loves her family. Karlee also struggles greatly with change. And rightly so. She started preschool and was promoted in Sunday school all very close together and while you would not know how deep her struggles go for the most part at those places, home is a different story. Now, I won't go into details, but lets just say the past few weeks our home has felt like a battleground. Now that is not to say that we haven't had wonderful moments during this time, but I have felt frustrated, helpless at times and lost as I don't know the best way to help her and train her all at the same time.
Today is also the 5 month anniversary of Kate's gotcha day. Kate has just seemed to have always been in our family. Her mischievious grins and big kisses continue to warm our hearts and bring many laughs in our home. She knows her mommy and daddy and loves her big sisters (sometimes loves to pick on them as well- ha!) But they all 3 are simply a team. You don't mess with any of them- they are all very protective of each other in their own ways and it is such a blessing. Kate fears sleep. She does everything she can to not fall asleep. She struggles with night terrors as do many adoptive children frequently. We are also getting ready to begin therapy for Kate- she isn't talking much and she doesn't chew. And when I say, doesn't chew, she does not know how to chew her food. She is frustrated at not being able to communicate with us. We are anxious to get her the help she needs in these areas.
I'll be the first to admit, I fuss to God about stuff but I have so humbly learned that God can handle my gripes because it has absolutely no affect on who He is. Regardless of how I feel, He is still God and He is still on the throne. So, I am pretty honest with feelings I have when I talk to Him. And every time, in the midst of all the confusion and chaos, He hands me a little miracle like the picture below. And I pray that I never forget all the "stuff" that went around me walking in on that picture. May it never become just a cute picture of two of our children. But I pray it always stays fresh as a little ray of sunshine from my Father.

Now, I do not share any of this in search of pity- although, your prayers would be treasured. There are so many adoptive families that face much worse each day. And we tend to keep all of that inside in our plight to simply be a "normal" family. I share this as more of a reminder to me that God is working all the time. And that His promises are real. And He is good for those promises He has made. It is a reminder for me to not lose heart and that in due time, we shall reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I am posting a few more pictures from the weekend. God is good all the time!

(The doorbell rang and I answered it) "I am QUICK huh, mommy?!?Watercoloring is so fun outside on these cooler mornings!These two actually had some great playtimes- they were using the doll changing table as an eating table."Hey- while mommy changes that load of laundry lets sit like this at the top of the stairs to scare her!"Today, we met Aunt Laura and Sarah and Aunt Connie and Lily Grace here and went to the park. And let me just say that I thought having two Asian children drew attention- we were asked several times if they were quadruplets!! It was hilarious! Drew has been out of town for a few days and Laura has had a rough week with INS and Connie has to start back to work tomorrow- we mamas needed some hugs! This was Lily Grace's first time on the swings and she LOVED them! She just laughed with delight and did not like it all when it was time to go!

Lily Grace, Kate, Karlee swinging on the pole. Sarah says- yall are crazy!!

"Well, okay- if you can't beat em- join em!!"Kalie went to Camp McDowell this weekend. She got home just as we went to the park, so she and Eloise joined us. Kalie missed Ashleigh!!Karlee and Kate went to Sunday School today with NO TEARS!! Way to go girls! Don't they look absolutely beautiful?!?!?!?

And no photo shoot is complete without some of Karlee's silly faces!

So, in the midst of my kitchen table being colored on, my van seat being drawn on, the tee-tee puddle on the floor, Kate falling half way down the stairs and other typical two year old (times two) adventures of the week, I will hold on to the memories of these photographs, for they are good.