A Time to Honor

Do you know those people that are simply extraordinary and need to be honored? Well, my sister Andrea is one of those people. She is a wife, mom to three little girls, a full time student, preschool director at her church and true friend to so many ladies. She has so many more hats I am missing but I am sure she wears them well. I know daily life has to be stressful for her juggling all that she does- I can't begin to imagine. But she can usually be found with a smile on her face laughing with friends or her girls. So, Andrea, here's to you! I think Khloe summed it up best- as she put it last night- "My mommy is COOL!"

More February Fun!

The lighting totally messes up this picture. Kate has got the craziest hair going for herself- its a complete Elvis doo! I have got to try to get a better one- its worth seeing! ha!
Our first trampoline injury- Karlee and Kate and I were playing follow the leader. Kate got a little close to my foot and ended up with a busted lip.

Karlee has a new trick. When she did it for me the first time, I was cracking up. I made her do it a 100 times so I could really capture it on film. Okay photo above- she is jumping up....Going into toe-touch form...
Grabs those feet and LANDS on her rear! Giggling the whole way. This trick is done with such speed it is hilarious!Another date with my man! We are trying to do better about going out once a month.

Fun on Those Warm February Days

The Children's Museum had a Chinese New Year celebration today and so we met Sarah and her mommy and little Will. We had fun visiting and making a dragon. Karlee used scissors for the first time. I showed her how to do it and she took right to it. This captivated her for the longest time. You have to pay special attention to these pictures. Laura noticed first that Karlee opened her mouth when the scissors were open and then would close it when she closed the scissors. It was hilarious. So, I grabbed the camera and got her!
mouth is closing as the scissors close... hee hee

I LOVE it when spring visits us early in Feb. We have stayed outside!! We jumped on the trampoline, rode every toy they own and have had a great time. We have missed Kalie though joining us.
We even had a picnic today outside on the deck.

Chinese New Year!

Its the YEAR OF THE PIG!!!Happy Chinese New Year! We love celebrating this holiday each year. We got together with friends we have met through adoption. It is always such a treat to see all of these little ones home. WOW! Kate is eating cake with chopsticks...
Little Addie did not want her picture taken but finally let me get one shot! Isn't she a doll?
I really think Lily Grace checked everyone's ears that were here tonight.

The newest member of the Carter family- Eli- isn't he adorable- and his brothers and sisters take such awesome care of him- they are great!!

Alise is Addie's sister. We have just met this family recently through some mutual friends. We are so glad that they got to join us tonight.
Sarah cracks me up- this is her Vietnamese outfit (they got when they brought home her little brother) which she looked gorgeous in and then she topped it off with a cowgirl hat having a tea party! Isn't that great?
Here are some of the children from tonight. We are missing Addie and all the Carter's children.
Getting ready to eat....
Little Will Morgan- I know you want to just eat him up- well get in line!

Our friends the Green's- Austin is finally getting some guys in the group- although much younger- but Austin is the best with all these girls!The Carters- we love them to pieces!

The Morgan's and Stricklands were also here but left early- Laura got tired... ha! ha! I love you girlfriend!

Dance Competition Again

one of the best parts of competition day
They did great! This is the toughest competition Kalie's studio attends. Her tap and lyrical took silver metals and a top place award. Eloise's dance took silver and also a top place award. Then the big production number took Platinum also receiving the Showmanship of the Day Award. Afterwards, we went out to eat to celebrate. We try to really stress that these scores are simply 3 people's opinions. Yes, they, for the most part, know the world of dance, but they are still 3 opinions. Kalie was disappointed at first with those first two scores and the judges were definitely grading harder than I have ever seen in a competition. But the time with friends and all the giggles put everything back into perspective. She loves these buddies. She loves to dance. Its that simple. Way to go girls! You all did your best and you looked awesome!

An Answered Prayer or atleast a Revelation

As you know, last week had been horrible. On Friday, it got even worse. There were three symptoms that Karlee had not shown on the RAD list and now she has officially had them all. Anyway, by 4 pm Friday, I was really thinking this is hopeless. I was staying calm but inside I wanted to throw in the white flag- ha. Anyway, I had her sit beside me while I got some packages ready to mail. I was humming along and she did not speak for the longest time. Then, as Drew and I were standing in the kitchen, she says: " You are my mommy and daddy, right?" We turn and I said Yes. She said you aren't going to leave me right? We are a family and you love me right?" To which I replied: Yes, Karlee we are a family. No matter how many bad days you have, we will always be together as a family because you are our daughter and we are your mommy and daddy and we love you. She sat there for a minute and said, I love you so much mommy. And that was it. The rest of the day was better and then Saturday we had to go to a dance competition all day and she was wonderful. The look in her eyes is different. Several times at the competition she would ask, you aren't going to leave me right? Let me back up to Friday night. We rocked before she went to bed and she snuggled right in and we talked about families. Another adoptive mom had told me two years ago how they explained "Family" to their daughter by interlocking their fingers together (thanks Shawna) and I used that with Karlee. I told her that you can't pull the fingers apart and how that is like a family. She said, sometimes I get scared. And I said- about your family? She said yes. And I told her that when she gets scared, she can put her hands together and remember that we are a family and we love each other. The next day on the way to the competition, she told Drew about the fingers thing and said that last night she was in bed and she got scared so she put her hands together and remembered we are a family and was all better!!
This weekend it has hit me- one of those a-ha moments I guess- where everything I have read, and been told and even recited came to life. Karlee's behavior isn't an attack on me. She is out to prove me wrong. She is out to prove herself right- she believes that she is bad and the world is bad and that if she tries hard enough we will bail on her just like everyone else. So she is trying everything and when I say everything- oh my word. She has even refused to say my name this week the right way- it comes out just ugly sounding. But she is trying to convince herself that I will walk. If I could describe the burning passion in my soul- I would. If I could describe the burning anger that my precious daughter has to even deal with this- I would. But let me just say that there is a renewed energy in me. I could go on about the a-ha moment I had, but I won't keep on and on. Thank you friends for the comments of encouragment- those emails and phone calls are priceless to me. I can't even begin to describe how much it means that you have just simply walked up and asked or mentioned it in a phone conversation- oh how thankful and blessed I am. Thank you.

Just a funny picture

Kate is the dress up queen and she brought down this piece of material and wanted it around her head. The access went down her back which I wish you could see because it made her look like a little gypsy. She is so funny!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHLOE

Is she not a living doll?

I cannot believe that my Khloe is 7 years old! Well, actually she isn't "mine" but I would claim her in a heartbeat- she is my precious niece. We enjoyed celebrating her special day this evening. Happy Birthday Khlo- We love you so much and are so thankful for YOU!

Needing some prayers

I think God is really using this to bring me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. One way is the fact that I have always been somewhat a private person. I don't just walk around discussing hard times... But I feel like if I am going to share the positives, then I need to share the negatives as well. I have been blown away the last couple of weeks finding out about families that have read this blog for a year and didn't leave a comment until now. I stand amazed at how God uses things that we have no idea of. What if someone is reading this that is struggling as we are? So, here goes.
This weekend- Saturday was a great day. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and tonight have been a living nightmare. I don't know how much detail to go into but I need prayers. I am not posting this for pity- we will be fine and I know that. And the good days will come again. But right now, they aren't here. Right now, I am weary. I am tired, frustrated and lost. Right now, I just want to cry. Right now there are parts of me that want to quit- or atleast take a break. But I won't. Our little girl's heart is on the line. Will you pray that God will supply me with a God-size amount of strength? Please pray that God will keep me so sensitive to Karlee right now and to keep Kate and Kalie balanced as well. Please pray for Karlee's heart to truly heal- to heal in such a way that the backward slides aren't this far back the next time. Please pray that how I respond and what I do will be just what Karlee needs to allow herself to trust and love and for fear to subside. Please.

Creative Dress-Up

Please pay close attention to this photo. You have to really check out the attire to appreciate it to its fullest. In the last week, Karlee and Kate have become dress-up queens- I mean this all they want to do. They have found Kalie's dance costumes from last year. So, we have on Karlee: a top hat with a leopard belt tied around it and a flowing pink lyrical dress. Then on Kate, we have a camo headpiece, brightly colored costume with a leopard belt as well. They designed these all by themselves- my only job was to help them get the pieces on. I love to see creativity develop!! They were so proud of these and wore them most of the day.

A Little Message from My Heart

I decided to write a little on how Karlee has been doing. It has been almost 4 months since her official diagnosis. We have been going to therapy for nearly 3 months. We are seeing some great changes. I think that since we are walking through this "experience", I often don't realize the improvements- especially on really rough days. And so, maybe this post is for me. I just don't want to forget where we were and how far she has come. As she got in my arms today and laid her head on my shoulder, I knew I needed to write. So here goes.
4 months ago Karlee...
...would not allow me to rock her
...if I did attempt, she would scream that I was hurting her, choking her or that I stunk!
...she was very rigid and would kick and fight, while rolling her eyes in the back of her head and glazing over- she literally separated herself from the reality.
...she only wanted her daddy
...she loved to charm strangers and extended family members and friends, often telling me how she liked them, did not like me, etc.
...she did not play. period.
...her fits would begin within 5-30 minutes of waking and would basically end at bedtime. Many days we would have a total of an hour when she was not going into a fit or having one or coming out of it.
...in the nearly two years of having her before we found out what was wrong, she never had 2 good days in a row until this past august. we thought she was sick or something.
...she would hit, scream in rages at us, kick, etc. me and Drew.
...her face muscles were tense and tight.
...there were always angry lions at our house that she talked about
...she would harm kate
...and destroy toys
...saw herself as ugly and would verbalize that
...could not differentiate between feelings and how they felt or what they "looked like"

4 Months Later, Karlee...
...asks for me to hold her
...asks for me to rock her
...asks for me to lie down with her at night
...allows me to do the above with my inititive as well
...she loves to play- games, family dollhouse, etc.
...she will look at books and loves for me to read to her
...she and kate could honestly play dress-up for HOURS
...she plays with babies, pretends she is a mommy, etc.
...basically avoids strangers and simply but lovingly greets family and friends
...she is very protective of kate- very motherly towards her, making sure she is okay and doing what is right
...she is learning to realize that what someone is doing around her may not be good and avoids it and has come straight to me to talk about it
...she hasn't destroyed toys in a while
...mommy and daddy are okay. at times prefers one over the other, but done so in a polite way
...is learning to use words and recognize feelings
...sees herself as beautiful, that she can do a "great job"
...instead of huge fits, has begun to express feelings with words- we hear often- are you going to leave me? will you be back (if i go down stairs, or to the store, etc.)
...her face has relaxed- the smiling pictures are different from a few months ago.
...does not glaze over as often. is making very good eye contact.
...when she does have tantrums or a bad day, we can reconnect- we may have to do it several times in a day, but she will allow me to comfort her, etc. most of the time
...her bad tantrums are down to an hour or so and we go days between them. when we do have bad days, there may be a couple of bad days in a row and then we have several good ones again.
...the lions come and go.


So, what have we been doing? What does our home/family look like?
*The goal is to take Karlee back to as young of an infant as we possibly could without her really realizing it. We do the same things with Kate because it can only help with her bonding as well. We stay together 24-7. Karlee and Kate do housework with me, everything is in close proximity. There are few toys out in Karlee's room. Those are treats provided by mommy and daddy. I get things out to play with and we put them back. This helps her to see that mommy and daddy are the provider of all good things and it keeps "toys" safe. I spent a month feeding them essentially every meal, making meal times fun. I spontaniously give them sweet treats (m&m's, jelly beans,etc.) for no reason. We hold and rock alot throughout the day. We do activities that encourage skin to skin contact- like the make-up I mentioned in an earlier post, massages, rubbing backs, peek-a-boo, etc. We play games such as hide and seek, dance together or chase. There are alot of consequences and choices throughout the day. We do things with feelings, making faces, practicing how to express how she feels in a respectful way. We constantly promote "family", trust, love ,etc. Some of what we do is very natural and has seemed so effortless because its simply the way we parent. Other things have been an adjustment- they feel weird, but with practice, Drew and I are getting better.
Our therapist is pleased. She says its like pouring concrete. You pour it and then have to wait and let it settle and harden. We have it poured and right now are just watching some things settle and harden. Karlee will remain out of preschool and church nursery at this time and we will continue to "open the box" little by little and see how she handles things. When we first started all of this, I thought it would be like climbing a mountain with times that our footing would slip and we would go backwards. Its more like a very active EKG machine- its up and down up and down and so easy to miss that you are still climbing up. So, for me, I needed to write this. And for anyone that might come across this blog, maybe it will be a source of encouragement.
Focus on the Family recently had a radio show about RAD- you can go to their website and click on the one that mentions Nancy Thomas. They did an exceptional job describing these children. I honestly sat and wept as I listened to it via internet.
Well thank you for allowing me to share. There is so much more that I could have written. TONS more- but I will close for now. And if you read this before the weekend, please say a little prayer for us- weekends are usually tough.

Dance Competition Time once Again!

I didn't realize Mary Geer was this much taller than Kalie- ha! We love us some Mary Geer! Mary Geer competed a solo for the first time this year receiving Gold! Way to go MG!
Kalie's tap number - they scored gold!

Yes, we have a little pirate this year- large production number- Pirates of the Caribbean received High Gold!
This was Eloise's first year to compete. She did awesome! Her numbers did great as well receiving an overall award too.- Kalie's lyrical to Unwritten received High Gold and 3rd place overall. WAY TO GO KALIE!!!!!

Kalie's first competition of the season was actually here in Florence. They all did so well. While Kalie danced, Karlee and Kate were exceptional! So, what do they do for 4 hours? They rode in their stroller, ran up and down this hallway for a break and at one time during Kalie's number, Kate had completely taken off her dress!! Yes, there she sat naked from the waist up! Actually, that is Kate's typical attire lately- I have some really great pictures but am not sure about posting those- ha! She plays, sleeps and even does cleaning undressed. It does not matter how many times I redress this child, she can honestly get out of anything you put on her- snaps, buttons, one piece or multi- layers- she is the great hudini!! Karlee enjoyed watching the girls and would cheer Go Kalie!

A Great Weekend (and no more injuries)

Kalie preparing for a snowball hit!
WHAT IS THIS STUFF??? Kate said ooooooo dode (that's oooo cold for those who don't know Kateese)
Let me explain the red ribbon- her zipper broke on her jacket and she is so cold natured so mommy had the idea to tie the jacket together- Karlee thought this was great.
It just don't get much cuter than this huh?

Yes, we had a little snow this past weekend. And guess what- Drew was out of town!!! UGH!!! He is such a kid when it comes to snow and he got to see it come down the first night but then he had to go the next day. Then it snowed more (not much mind you) but enough for us to get out in it. This was Kate's first snow as far as we know and by her reaction, I am not sure she was overly impressed. She liked to look at it though. Karlee stood out in a it for a little while and then said, Mommy, I am cold lets go inside! I think if we had actually had a little more on the ground, these two would have even withstood the cold weather! ha!